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Life After Loss: The Lessons of Grief, by Vamik D. Volkan, Elizabeth Zintl
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How we cope with grief and come to terms with the death of a loved one shapes our world. In this comprehensive guide to the mourning process, Dr Volkan, a world-recognised authority on grief, shows how each mourning is as individualised as our fingerprints, encoded with our past history of losses. Anecdotal and compassionate, this is a profoundly moving and informative study of how grief and loss shape all our lives.
- Sales Rank: #1062382 in eBooks
- Published on: 2015-08-21
- Released on: 2015-08-21
- Format: Kindle eBook
From Publishers Weekly
"The power of unsolved grief" may come not only from death but from change and the pain of losing even that which has caused unhappiness, contends Univeristy of Virginia Medical Center psychiatrist Volkan. Writing with freelancer Zintl and drawing on his own experience and that of others, such as the "complicated" mourning undergone by those close to AIDS victims, Volkan traces bereaved people's progress from denial to acceptance and the necessary "work of mourning" meant to prepare them for reimmersion in life. Therapeutic measures for the bereaved and the people who seek to help them conclude this original and not overly technical approach to surviving grief.
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From Library Journal
Volkan, a psychiatrist at the University of Virginia Medical Center, and journalist Zintl analyze our various responses to loss. Their book's first section explores uncomplicated mourning, beginning with the mourner's immediate response to death, followed by his or her assessment and review of the relationship with the deceased, and ending when the mourner moves on from the loss. The second section uses case studies to illustrate complicated mourning and the risk factors that predispose one to it. These include the mourner's experience with past loss(es), his or her emotional ability to tolerate separation, and the particular nature of the relationship between the mourner and the deceased. The final section discusses the use of brief psychotherapy in resolving complicated mourning. This straightforward book will interest the professional and lay reader alike. For most libraries.
- Bonnie Hoffman, Stony Brook, N.Y.
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From Kirkus Reviews
A psychiatrist reveals what he's learned about how we mourn- -and what happens when we can't. With the assistance of journalist Zintl, Volkan (Psychiatry/University of Virginia Medical Center) details how we deal with what he calls ``uncomplicated'' mourning--the psychological response to the tolerable loss of someone with whom we had little unfinished business. In successful mourning, there is movement from denial to acceptance, followed by an assessment of the relationship with the lost one and a letting-go. Mourning that doesn't progress normally is termed ``complicated'' by Volkan, who looks at the factors that lead to it, such as unfinished business with the deceased, unresolved past losses, external circumstances, and one's particular emotional makeup. Case studies from the author's practice illustrate how people may become stuck in denial, be unable to resolve their loss, and be plunged into depression. Volkan shares his views on how to help the relatively few who require psychotherapy in dealing with grief. He cautions against emotion-muffling drugs and offers his own program of ``regrief'' therapy--a brief but intense form of treatment utilizing objects such as photographs or personal possessions that link the patient to the lost one. But although Volkan directs his words not just to those experiencing grief but also to bereavement counselors and care givers, the information on grief therapy, and specifically on his own regrief therapy, is too scanty to provide much guidance. In a final chapter, the author touches on the link between mourning and creativity. Volkan offers some understanding of a universal human experience, but his therapeutic advice is too brief to be truly useful. -- Copyright �1993, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.
Most helpful customer reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
My friend said this book really helped her deal with a death of a loved one.. so I decided to read it!
By Mista R O'Regan
My friend is a psychologist, she recently read this book and said it was amazing and extremely helpful to her claiming it 'literally explains all of my life'.. (Her father had committed suicide in her youth) [she would have given this book 5* for sure]
Since the book was thin, I thought it would be interesting to read though I'm perhaps not the best candidate for reading a book like this, I've had no major loss and not particularly interested in this area!
However I found this book useful to gain a perspective on how human beings typically mourn, both consciously and unconsciously. A perspective I didn't have before.
Even years after a death, subconsciously people can still be mourning, even though they think they have resolved the grief.
The book gives many real case studies of people with issues that learned to deal with their loss and explains typical pathways of healing that people tend to go through. e.g. denial, then bargaining e.g. with god.. then an acceptance.. etc etc It explains the role dreams have as showing the stage the mourner is currently in. Sometimes it's not just a loss of a person but could be anything, e.g. their youth, or security etc
The book also explains complicated losses, eg a mother may lose a son who was a hated murderer.. so eg the mother may not feel she is allowed to show her grief.. or the grief has mixed emotions, a deep sadness, but perhaps also embarrassment or anger.
Less obvious common phenomenon are also covered, eg 'linking objects' mourners typically have, it could be anything eg an object, or adopting a mannerism.. it's a connection to those passed away.
Overall, I feel I gained an understanding into the complex unconscious way human's can overcome loss.
Should I experience a major loss, or have a friend with a major loss in the future, I think I will have a better insight into how to heal the situation more gracefully.
Despite the sad subject matter, a positive and practical book.
As mentioned, I gave it 4*, but perhaps if Id had more personal life experience with this subject (like my friend), I may well have given this 5* !
P.s. I only leave reviews for a small percentage of books I read, because it takes a lot of time. I only want to do so if it is of some help to someone. If you find this review helpful please let me know as I have many more reviews I can leave if you want me to!
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Grief and mourning
By BubbyG
One of the most clear and insightful books on loss and grief I have every read. Volkan explores the sizable challenges and intricacies of grief and loss through a psychoanalytical lens using two primary categories: uncomplicated and complicated mourning. He takes great care to acknowledge that grief and mourning are as personal and unique to each individual as their fingerprints. His concepts are clearly illustrated with moving case examples and his ideas are accessible to both layman and professional.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Best book on grief I've ever read.
By Diane
I wish they would republish this book, as it is currently out of print. I order copies whenever I can for friends/family going through the grief process. It is particularly helpful when dealing with a sudden, unexpected or violent death, one in which you never got to say goodbye.
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